I’m thrilled and humbled that my story The Great Columbus Motel Pool is the first story published by the new lit mag Ellipsis Zine. I haven’t been writing much lately, but this might motivate me to get back to the grind. Send them your work!
You can read my story here
Welp, my new story Powerball for Drifters is live over at the wonderful Lost Balloon. Am I excited? Si. Am I grateful to Chelsea Voulgares for giving my tale a lovely home? Si. Has Lost Balloon published some of the most respected and talented writers out there? Si. Did I start parting my hair on the right for some unknown reason? Si.
Seriously, I am so grateful to Chelsea for publishing my piece. I know it’s corny and I’ve said it before, but if I can overcome a self-sabotaged past and find a morsel of validation from the writing world, then it should offer hope to anyone who has struggled at any point in their life. It’s never too late to find yourself. It’s never too late to believe in yourself. It’s never too late to part your hair on the right like an aging hipster doofus.
You can read my story here
The day has finally arrived. I’m so dang excited to have my story Sun, Gun, Gone published in the first issue of Rabble Lit. This new journal is the brainchild of a writer I’ve admired from afar, Anna Lea Jancewicz. If you write and read flash fiction, you know who she is and how ridiculously talented she is. This is not hyperbole. She’s on a different level. A huge thank you to Anna, Claire Hopple, and the rest of the staff for including my story. Rabble Lit focuses on working class people and diversity, something I can certainly relate to. It’s a genre that tends to be ignored by the online writing world.
I tried to step out of my comfort zone with this piece. I hope you enjoy it. Either way, read the entire issue. It’s literally overflowing with phenomenal writers. For real.
You can read my story here
I’ve never been a good eater. Let me rephrase that because I’m really good at the process of shoving stuff into my mouth. (No jokes, please). I was really good at eating horrible, vitamin-deficient, heart-busting, pore-clogging food. The frozen dinner section at the grocery store had always been my church; I worshiped at the altar of saturated fats, added sugars, barrels of sodium, and artificial flavors. High-fructose corn syrup? Yummy! The ingredients in my less than stellar diet had scientific names. Laboratory DNA. I’m not even sure it should be called food. But I was addicted to it, or I was just lazy. Maybe sad. Maybe sad and lazy topped with a swirl of apathy. Maybe bad food and sweatpants go well together. Or maybe it’s just easy to heat something up in the microwave.
A vegetable was as foreign to me as a woman’s unconditional love. A fruit was a juicy, exotic Rubik’s Cube. Polyunsaturated fats and monounsaturated fats… what? Seriously, WHAT?
Let me go back three months. I quit smoking after 25+ years of lighting up like a junkie. I still can’t believe it to be honest. I loved smoking. It helped with stress and anxiety. It paired well with coffee. It was a crutch. It got me through those dark days, those dark, comatose months. Cigarettes were a friend and a thin, cancerous lover, and I assumed I could never quit. I was wrong. I did the silly New Year’s Eve resolution thing with cigarettes. I ordered a simple vaping pen after days and days of research. One of my few strengths is research. I can spend hours, days, weeks studying something. I must have all the knowledge, all the specifics. The only way to make a proper decision in life is to have as much information as possible. So, I knew the Evod pen was a good starter device. I went to a local vape shop and purchased one along with some e-liquid. E-liquid is basically 4 ingredients: vegetable glycerin, propylene glycol, nicotine, and flavoring. That’s it. Don’t listen to the alarmists, who want you to believe you’re inhaling antifreeze. People are ridiculous and uninformed most times. All I can tell you is vaping has changed my life. I feel completely refreshed. My energy level has increased. I don’t get winded as easily. I don’t smell like an ashtray, and I’m saving money. Vaping has extended my life, there is no doubt in my mind. I’m about as objective of a person as you’ll ever meet and if I thought vaping was truly harmful, I would say so. I’ve researched the hell out of this subject. Countless articles and videos. And yes, I would like to see more studies done about the effects of inhaling vapor. I would like at least some form of regulation applied to the industry. I don’t think vaping should be so readily available to teens. But I also know that vaping has given me a second chance. And it’s led me to eat better.
Once I quit smoking and had hernia surgery, I thought what next? Is it enough to just put down cigarettes? Can I do more for my body and mind? And I felt that quitting smoking without changing my diet was counterproductive. I needed to keep pushing forward. I finally saw a connection between a healthy body and a healthy outlook. I had to shove aside the taunt of my depression, the siren in my head telling me to take the easiest route possible, and make significant strides in regards to the food I put in my system. Well, I did.
I eat a salad every day. Nothing too fancy, arugula and baby spinach topped with organic grape tomatoes and a simple homemade dressing consisting of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. For lunch I typically enjoy a sandwich of canned sardines and guacamole (both are Super foods) between two slices of whole grain, fiber-dense bread. For dinner, I usually go with skinless baked chicken and organic black beans. Sometimes I go with salmon. My sweet tooth is satisfied with a small serving of plain Greek yogurt with fresh strawberries. Breakfast is usually a hard-boiled egg (no salt) and plain oatmeal with fresh blackberries and a drizzle of honey. I even stopped adding sugar to my coffee. Still use it in hot tea, though. I haven’t had a single sip of cola in over two weeks. TWO WEEKS! I drink water with every meal. And I haven’t bought anything from the frozen food section in those same two weeks. Not one damn thing. And the cool part is that I’m enjoying this new diet. Healthy food actually tastes pretty good. Now, I’m not perfect and I’m still learning, and I know to normal eaters my changes are rather pedestrian, but I’m on the right path. And I’m excited about my health for the first time.
In conclusion, believe in yourself. If I can take a different direction with my daily eating habits, anybody can. I was that bad of an eater. And if you suffer from depression, incorporating healthier foods can make a difference in how you feel. It can provide you with enough energy to get off the couch and stroll beneath a friendly sun. And maybe you’ll live a bit longer as well.
People can change their habits. People can change their attitude.
Let go of the person you were and embrace the person you were always meant to be.
It starts today.
See you in the organic vegetable section of the grocery. I’ll be the tall, awkward dude gently squeezing an avocado, pretending that I know what in the hell I’m doing.
My current vaping device. Yes, I’m madly and hopelessly in love.
The boys are back together and coming to Cincy this summer. A sampling of my favorites below.
Simple, beautiful, and timeless.
This song gets better as it goes and the lyrics are sublime.
From raging thump to soft introspection to raging thump again. Yeah.
the man stood in the
center of the room
it was rearranged
now
transformed by hours
and illness
the walls and carpet
darker than before
the hum of deranged
chemistry plotted
beneath
fresh paint and
vacuumed floors
when he walked the halls
doors slammed
and latched
with an aggressive
disinterest
he felt their eyes
brown and blue
and vigorous
heavy with wet
menace
he twisted brass knobs
and banged on fake wood
peeked under frames
it’s me, he thought
remember
me?
those
endless conversations
and sweet laughter
dissections
of music and books
life retold
and
that time
I stumbled
into
your sun
the man crawled outside
smoked a cigarette
got up and paced
and paced
feet and concrete
and nothingness
the sky swallowed his
mind
her silhouette taunts
on glass doors
curves that sing
and
radiance that heals
and
that stylish bob
oh yes
a reflection
of
lost blood
and hysteria
do not fall
do not reveal
do not trust
she filled
his heart with silence
a cocktail
of
farewell
drink
until you see fire
old friend
drink
until your veins
swell with me
old friend
drink me today and
tomorrow and
forever
old friend
the man smiled at
temptation, raised
her voiceless
treason
to
his mouth
and drank and drank
until he saw
at last
the black dawn
of
never again
I “borrowed” the title from this song, a tune that has 2 different roles in this poem. Plus, I feel it’s important to give credit to the artist I borrowed from.
Wisp of Smoke 